Dear Sparkly,
I go out dancing alot and I have a lot of girls to pick from! I get tired of spinning the same ones on the dancefloor every single time, but if I don't then some of them get upset. WHAT DO I DO!!! It's not my fault there aren't more guys asking them to dance but I want to dance with others too. HELP!
-Danced Out
Dear D.O.
I'm sure it is difficult to make sure all your lady friends are entertained and feel less than neglected, especially if other guys aren't asking all the ladies to dance. You're right- that isn't your fault. And I'm not saying that is really is entirely your responsibility to make sure all your lady friends have a dance partner. What I am going to do is give you some suggestions and allow you to try out some of these ideas.
1) Bring Men. If you have some guy friends, then be sure to bring them along. Introduce them to each of the regular ladies you dance with. Encourage the guys to ask the girls for a dance.
2) Ask your lady friends to dance first. You might get tired of dancing with the same group of girls, however, if the girls don't know many guys then it might not be very easy for them to ask a guy to dance. Be sure to make time for the girls you know, they'll appreciate that you didn't ignore them.
3) Introduce other guys to your friends. If you're going to the same dance hall, then get to know some of the regulars and introduce them to your female friends. You can even tell the guys you know some girls who love to dance.
As a traditionalist, I rarely ever ask a man to dance, especially one that I don't know. Maybe once a year, but that's about it. If my guy friends aren't asking me to dance, I'm usually out of there. Yes we live in 2013, but it is still a big deal for a guy to ask a girl to dance. So don't ignore your lady friends, dance with them first, and approach other women later on. Besides, if you're a decent dancer, then the girls you know probably all showed up to dance with you. ;)
I go out dancing alot and I have a lot of girls to pick from! I get tired of spinning the same ones on the dancefloor every single time, but if I don't then some of them get upset. WHAT DO I DO!!! It's not my fault there aren't more guys asking them to dance but I want to dance with others too. HELP!
-Danced Out
Dear D.O.
I'm sure it is difficult to make sure all your lady friends are entertained and feel less than neglected, especially if other guys aren't asking all the ladies to dance. You're right- that isn't your fault. And I'm not saying that is really is entirely your responsibility to make sure all your lady friends have a dance partner. What I am going to do is give you some suggestions and allow you to try out some of these ideas.
1) Bring Men. If you have some guy friends, then be sure to bring them along. Introduce them to each of the regular ladies you dance with. Encourage the guys to ask the girls for a dance.
2) Ask your lady friends to dance first. You might get tired of dancing with the same group of girls, however, if the girls don't know many guys then it might not be very easy for them to ask a guy to dance. Be sure to make time for the girls you know, they'll appreciate that you didn't ignore them.
3) Introduce other guys to your friends. If you're going to the same dance hall, then get to know some of the regulars and introduce them to your female friends. You can even tell the guys you know some girls who love to dance.
As a traditionalist, I rarely ever ask a man to dance, especially one that I don't know. Maybe once a year, but that's about it. If my guy friends aren't asking me to dance, I'm usually out of there. Yes we live in 2013, but it is still a big deal for a guy to ask a girl to dance. So don't ignore your lady friends, dance with them first, and approach other women later on. Besides, if you're a decent dancer, then the girls you know probably all showed up to dance with you. ;)
The dance atmosphere makes a difference of how comfortable women are in asking guys to dance. Even though asking somebody to dance at Red River is not necessarily a romantic gesture at all, there is unfortunately more of that stigma there because a lot of people treat it as a place to find romantic interests. In contrast, swing dancing is much more "friendly" of an atmosphere and most people there (even ones with significant others) enjoy dancing with people on a purely friendly level. It's less common for people there to read ulterior motives into a dance request. So with swing dancing, the instructors often encourage the girls to ask guys to dance. It still doesn't happen all that often, but its not a discouraged thing, and half the time I go swing dancing I get asked to dance by a girl at least once.
ReplyDeleteNote: I still think it's important for guys to take the initiative to ask girls to dance. It helps us get out of our shells and learn to talk to the girls. And most girls, regardless of the place, still won't ask a guy for a dance.
DeleteThank you for your thoughts! I personally don't go dancing for the "romantic atmosphere" but I know some who do.
ReplyDelete