The Valentine Series: Is It Time To Move On?

 

Of all the topics I've worked on for this series, this one has been the hardest.  It hit me so close to home that I got incredibly convicted about my own life and had to start taking my own advice.  So as I write this, broken and wounded, understand that I completely feel the conviction, pain, sorrow and loss that goes along with this post.

There wasn't just one thing that sticks out in my mind about the reasons I needed to move on, there was an accumulation of things.  But if I had to sum it all up, it's because I started to feel like I wasn't good enough.  The guy I wanted to marry when I was 23 made me feel the same way.  I promised myself that I would never fall into that kind of relationship again, and so when I saw that happening, I had to get out.  I know my worth, and I know that my confidence is in God.  I know that.

Moving on isn't easy.  It's not.  I know.  I get scared every time I think about starting over.  But I also have to remind myself of the kind of man I want to marry.  And that's what gets me through it.  I remind myself that God wants the best for me and that I shouldn't be settling for someone who doesn't love me well.

Abusive relationships, emotional or physical, are horrible and damaging, if you're in one- MOVE ON.
If you're losing your identity- MOVE ON
If you feel like you're having to prove yourself- MOVE ON
If they aren't being intentional and leading well (this is mostly for women)- MOVE ON
If they want you to compromise your beliefs, virtue, sexual integrity- MOVE ON
If they only think about themselves, and/or make you feel guilty when they don't get their way- MOVE ON

This goes for relationships and friendships.  Although, if this is reflective more of a friendship, then I encourage you to back up and lay down some boundaries.

As I said before, I'm in the midst of working through all of this myself.  The first step was recognizing the need for physical distance from the person so I stepped back from some things in my life so that I would no longer allow that man to hurt me, unintentionally, with his actions.  The second step has been accountability and transparency.  I have people in my life who are encouraging me along the way and supporting my decision to take some space and remind me to not give in to the temptation to pretend everything is okay.  And at some point, hopefully soon, I'll take another step, talking to this man so that he sees why some things, not everything, but some things, were misleading and how we can both grow from this.  

*A word on friendationships- GET OUT!  There is no reason to be emotionally tied to someone who is not going to pursue you, or let you pursue them( if you're a man).*

Do you know what Love is?

For more information about how to move on, check out these blogs from Ask Suzy:
Overcoming Heartbreak Part One
Overcoming Heartbreak Part Two
Overcoming Heartbreak Part Three