To start off the Reviving Chivalry date series, I decided to share my own story first. The women will be touching on bad experiences, giving examples of what a non-chivalrous date looks like; and the guys will be writing about how to be chivalrous on a date. Feedback is always welcome! sparklyinthecity@gmail.com
from a female perspective...
I met my date on a dating site, I think it was eHarmony. So we chatted for a couple of weeks and then when he was going to be in town we decided to have coffee. The first thing that bugged me was how he called me that day, while I was having an early dinner, and said he wanted to get dinner instead of coffee because he was hungry. Then he preceded to ask me about what restaurants where in the area, as if he's never googled something before.
When I got to Chili's, another car pulled in at the same time I did. They guy got out of the car and I was pretty sure it was my date, but he was much shorter than he claimed on his profile. I got out of my car and he walked quickly inside, after turning around and seeing me, and didn't even bother to hold the door for me. When I got inside the hostess seated us and I prayed that things would get better.
As we sat in the booth, my date began to tell me about how he worked with an ex girlfriend, who was still in love him. He also told me about all the women in his office who were making bets on who he'd ask on a date first. I remember sitting there thinking "Wow, he is trying hard to convince me that he's a catch." Before our order was taken he told me to order anything I wanted because he was going to tell his boss that he took a client to dinner and it would get written off.
When the waitress asked if we wanted dessert, I was shocked when my date said yes and began looking at the menu. I had try to make it clear, by giving one word answers and playing with my phone, that I was whole-heartedly uninterested. I retreated to the ladies room and called my friend so I could get her to call with an "emergency". Unfortunately, my friend didn't answer her phone and there wasn't a clear path to the parking lot for a date ditch plan. So I went back to my seat and suffered through more time with the ego maniac.
By the end of the night this guy also revealed to me that he had the computers at his office synced to his phone so that he could control them from anywhere, and so that he wouldn't have to actually do any work. I wonder if he had been dared to be the worst date ever because I couldn't believe someone like him existed and really conversed like he did on a date. I was fortunate enough to never hear from that guy again.
Lesson Learned: It's okay to tell someone you'd rather not have dinner the first time you meet, that way you can bolt out the door when your coffee runs out. It's also okay to leave the date and be honest as to why.
from a female perspective...
I met my date on a dating site, I think it was eHarmony. So we chatted for a couple of weeks and then when he was going to be in town we decided to have coffee. The first thing that bugged me was how he called me that day, while I was having an early dinner, and said he wanted to get dinner instead of coffee because he was hungry. Then he preceded to ask me about what restaurants where in the area, as if he's never googled something before.
When I got to Chili's, another car pulled in at the same time I did. They guy got out of the car and I was pretty sure it was my date, but he was much shorter than he claimed on his profile. I got out of my car and he walked quickly inside, after turning around and seeing me, and didn't even bother to hold the door for me. When I got inside the hostess seated us and I prayed that things would get better.
As we sat in the booth, my date began to tell me about how he worked with an ex girlfriend, who was still in love him. He also told me about all the women in his office who were making bets on who he'd ask on a date first. I remember sitting there thinking "Wow, he is trying hard to convince me that he's a catch." Before our order was taken he told me to order anything I wanted because he was going to tell his boss that he took a client to dinner and it would get written off.
When the waitress asked if we wanted dessert, I was shocked when my date said yes and began looking at the menu. I had try to make it clear, by giving one word answers and playing with my phone, that I was whole-heartedly uninterested. I retreated to the ladies room and called my friend so I could get her to call with an "emergency". Unfortunately, my friend didn't answer her phone and there wasn't a clear path to the parking lot for a date ditch plan. So I went back to my seat and suffered through more time with the ego maniac.
By the end of the night this guy also revealed to me that he had the computers at his office synced to his phone so that he could control them from anywhere, and so that he wouldn't have to actually do any work. I wonder if he had been dared to be the worst date ever because I couldn't believe someone like him existed and really conversed like he did on a date. I was fortunate enough to never hear from that guy again.
Lesson Learned: It's okay to tell someone you'd rather not have dinner the first time you meet, that way you can bolt out the door when your coffee runs out. It's also okay to leave the date and be honest as to why.
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