Read Part 1 and Part 2
I've often wondered how some people seemed to just know when they're being lied to. What I've found is that there are multiple ways.
One of them would be the change in communication. By that, I mean, when someone is telling a story that is untrue, they tend to give more details. This can be subconscious, however, the storyteller is doing so to try and convince the storyhearer of the authenticity of the story. I have had someone in my life for over 10 years and they often give me some detailed story of things in their life. I can spot a lie they are telling me over the phone, no body language reading necessary.
Me "So what happened to those texts between you and him?" Them "Oh, my husband was messing around on my phone one night and he happened to accidentally delete them all from my phone."
If that were the truth, this person wouldn't feel the need to use defensive tactics in conversation. They would simply reply to my question.
Me "So what happened to those texts between you and him?" Them "They got deleted." Me "How did that happen?" Them "I think my husband did something to my phone. Who knows."
In honest conversation, we tend to be more vague because we don't feel the need to prove anything.
Another way to tell if someone is lying is through their body language. There are things we do subconsciously that show our guilt to everyone else. Here is a list I compiled for you:
1.A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
2.Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc. (Look for the fake smile in movies and tv)
3.Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
4. A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
5.Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.
6.Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
Here's an article on micro-expressions and lying.
Here's a video on how to spot a liar.
So what do you do once you've started to see the lie? You have a couple of options, you can either confront the person and ask why they are lying to you, or you can let it go. Now, of course, this would also be judged on a case by case basis. If you're interviewing someone and they keep lying about their background and experience then you don't have to hire them. If you're friend is lying to you about their weekend plans, you might ask why they feel the need to hide something from you (or they may eventually come forward on their own). No matter what you decide on confronting someone who is lying, always make sure to be gentle, liars can become very defensive.
My first year of college was a lot of fun, however, one of the girls I went to high school with was a pathological liar. One afternoon, while on the phone, she was telling me all about how she was dating a guy she had crushed on during our senior year. A few minutes later, she handed the phone to her sister, who then told me she was the one dating the guy. When my friend got back on the phone I confronted her about it and she hung up the phone, instead of admitting she lied.
If you catch someone lying to you once, my advice would be to gently talk to them about it. However, if you are being lied to very frequently. you should have a deep conversation with the person about why they feel they have to lie to you. And then you might also want to evaluate if you really need that person in your life.
If you have any beauty, fashion, or etiquette questions, email me at sparklyinthecity@gmail.com
I've often wondered how some people seemed to just know when they're being lied to. What I've found is that there are multiple ways.
One of them would be the change in communication. By that, I mean, when someone is telling a story that is untrue, they tend to give more details. This can be subconscious, however, the storyteller is doing so to try and convince the storyhearer of the authenticity of the story. I have had someone in my life for over 10 years and they often give me some detailed story of things in their life. I can spot a lie they are telling me over the phone, no body language reading necessary.
Me "So what happened to those texts between you and him?" Them "Oh, my husband was messing around on my phone one night and he happened to accidentally delete them all from my phone."
If that were the truth, this person wouldn't feel the need to use defensive tactics in conversation. They would simply reply to my question.
Me "So what happened to those texts between you and him?" Them "They got deleted." Me "How did that happen?" Them "I think my husband did something to my phone. Who knows."
In honest conversation, we tend to be more vague because we don't feel the need to prove anything.
Another way to tell if someone is lying is through their body language. There are things we do subconsciously that show our guilt to everyone else. Here is a list I compiled for you:
1.A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
2.Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc. (Look for the fake smile in movies and tv)
3.Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
4. A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
5.Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.
6.Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
Here's an article on micro-expressions and lying.
Here's a video on how to spot a liar.
So what do you do once you've started to see the lie? You have a couple of options, you can either confront the person and ask why they are lying to you, or you can let it go. Now, of course, this would also be judged on a case by case basis. If you're interviewing someone and they keep lying about their background and experience then you don't have to hire them. If you're friend is lying to you about their weekend plans, you might ask why they feel the need to hide something from you (or they may eventually come forward on their own). No matter what you decide on confronting someone who is lying, always make sure to be gentle, liars can become very defensive.
My first year of college was a lot of fun, however, one of the girls I went to high school with was a pathological liar. One afternoon, while on the phone, she was telling me all about how she was dating a guy she had crushed on during our senior year. A few minutes later, she handed the phone to her sister, who then told me she was the one dating the guy. When my friend got back on the phone I confronted her about it and she hung up the phone, instead of admitting she lied.
If you catch someone lying to you once, my advice would be to gently talk to them about it. However, if you are being lied to very frequently. you should have a deep conversation with the person about why they feel they have to lie to you. And then you might also want to evaluate if you really need that person in your life.
If you have any beauty, fashion, or etiquette questions, email me at sparklyinthecity@gmail.com
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