Dear Sparkly,
I work in the business world and am constantly shaking hands with men and women. Some men give a strong handshake, some give too strong, and others limp out (maybe because I'm a woman). A startling amount of the women are limpy handshakers and I feel like I'm touching noodles straight from boiling water. Is there a good way to address this issue?
-Help For Hands
Well there is never a good way to tell someone that they have an awful handshake. And in the business world, where you may be networking and shaking hands with 30 different people in an hour, you'll have to do your best to be an example. Just a last week I encountered a man who started out with a good handshake, then squeezed, unnecessarily, and pain seared through my palm and fingers. I took the initiative to correct him and then allowed him to reshake my hand.
In my case, the man in question and I were standing in a small group of friends. I felt like I am probably not the first woman that has ever received this man's improper handshake, so I decided to help him out so he wouldn't deter future females with his first impression. In a small setting, outright correction is totally fine. But if you're in a board room or a larger event, you may find it more difficult to correct everyone in which you come in contact. My advice would be to ignore the awkward handshake, unless it is someone with whom you are in frequent contact. If that is the case, then pull them aside and kindly let them know why their handshake makes you uncomfortable. "Mr. Doe, I enjoy working with you but I wanted to let you know that your handshake is uncomfortable for me. Would you mind not squeezing my hand so tightly next time?"
When a man shakes another man's hand it's almost a competition on who can squeeze the hardest, indicating who is the stronger of the two. Yes, that's a silly reason to over do it when shaking a hand, but men will be men and will probably always try to outdo others. Unfortunately, some men don't think to turn off their heavy handshake when women are present. I've had to "limp out" a time or two myself when a man shook my hand too hard.
On the other hand (no pun intended), women have only been in the corporate world as equals since the 1960s. Some women never learned how to give a proper handshake. Whether you're Holly Housewife or a CEO, you should learn to give a solid handshake.
Tips: Extend your hand and give 2 or 3 solid pumps while smiling and making eye contact. Practice makes perfect, so get a few friends together and take their constructive criticism. If someone gives you a noodle handshake, try to ease up a bit on them (your solid handshake might feel overpowering). If someone squeezes too hard, take note and maybe mention it to them later, in private.
Do you have any beauty, fashion, or etiquette questions? Email me at sparklyinthecity@gmail.com
I work in the business world and am constantly shaking hands with men and women. Some men give a strong handshake, some give too strong, and others limp out (maybe because I'm a woman). A startling amount of the women are limpy handshakers and I feel like I'm touching noodles straight from boiling water. Is there a good way to address this issue?
-Help For Hands
Well there is never a good way to tell someone that they have an awful handshake. And in the business world, where you may be networking and shaking hands with 30 different people in an hour, you'll have to do your best to be an example. Just a last week I encountered a man who started out with a good handshake, then squeezed, unnecessarily, and pain seared through my palm and fingers. I took the initiative to correct him and then allowed him to reshake my hand.
In my case, the man in question and I were standing in a small group of friends. I felt like I am probably not the first woman that has ever received this man's improper handshake, so I decided to help him out so he wouldn't deter future females with his first impression. In a small setting, outright correction is totally fine. But if you're in a board room or a larger event, you may find it more difficult to correct everyone in which you come in contact. My advice would be to ignore the awkward handshake, unless it is someone with whom you are in frequent contact. If that is the case, then pull them aside and kindly let them know why their handshake makes you uncomfortable. "Mr. Doe, I enjoy working with you but I wanted to let you know that your handshake is uncomfortable for me. Would you mind not squeezing my hand so tightly next time?"
When a man shakes another man's hand it's almost a competition on who can squeeze the hardest, indicating who is the stronger of the two. Yes, that's a silly reason to over do it when shaking a hand, but men will be men and will probably always try to outdo others. Unfortunately, some men don't think to turn off their heavy handshake when women are present. I've had to "limp out" a time or two myself when a man shook my hand too hard.
On the other hand (no pun intended), women have only been in the corporate world as equals since the 1960s. Some women never learned how to give a proper handshake. Whether you're Holly Housewife or a CEO, you should learn to give a solid handshake.
Tips: Extend your hand and give 2 or 3 solid pumps while smiling and making eye contact. Practice makes perfect, so get a few friends together and take their constructive criticism. If someone gives you a noodle handshake, try to ease up a bit on them (your solid handshake might feel overpowering). If someone squeezes too hard, take note and maybe mention it to them later, in private.
Do you have any beauty, fashion, or etiquette questions? Email me at sparklyinthecity@gmail.com
Comments
Post a Comment