Dear Sparkly,
I just started getting invitations for weddings this summer. How do I know what is casual and what is formal? Should I ask the groom and bride?
-Wedding Dazed
Traditionally, the wedding invitation tells you everything you need to know about the day, so learning to interpret the invitation is key. Here are some helpful hints about how to properly decifer the wedding invitation.
The Envelope: Take into account how the envelope is addressed. If the bride and groom have hand written the addressee's information, then you can guess that the event is cocktail attire (refer to my blog post The Art of Code Vestimentaire). However, if the information is in calligraphy then you'll be wearing something more formal.
The Addressee: If your invitation is address as "Mr. John Doe & Guest" then you are obviously welcome to bring a wedding date. However, if the "& Guest" are not included, it is appropriate to ask the bride or groom if you can bring someone. For financial reasons they may be trying to keep the wedding numbers small. They also may not be aware if you're relationship status has changed from "single" to "in a relationship", especially if that occurred after the invitation was mailed.
The RSVP Card: There are many different things to consider when mailing the RSVP card back to the bride. Be sure to have all intention of clearing your schedule and being in attendance when you reply. Weddings don't have a "maybe" section, and since the families of the couple are footing the bill for the event, you need to keep your commitment (refer to my blog post The Art of Repondez S'il Vous Plait). If something comes up within a week of the wedding date, and you've already sent in your RSVP card, be sure to notify the bride or groom of your change in plans. Most catering companies get the final head count 5-10 days before the event.
The Dinner Choice: Some RSVP cards will come with a protein choice. Be sure to pick something you won't mind eating. And when you arrive for the wedding dinner, don't change your mind last minute.
Black or White Tie: On rare occasions, an invitation will specify "Black Tie" or "White Tie". This means that, for men, you'll be responsible for wearing a tuxedo. Here is an excerpt from my blog "The Art of Code Vestimentaire":
I just started getting invitations for weddings this summer. How do I know what is casual and what is formal? Should I ask the groom and bride?
-Wedding Dazed
Traditionally, the wedding invitation tells you everything you need to know about the day, so learning to interpret the invitation is key. Here are some helpful hints about how to properly decifer the wedding invitation.
The Envelope: Take into account how the envelope is addressed. If the bride and groom have hand written the addressee's information, then you can guess that the event is cocktail attire (refer to my blog post The Art of Code Vestimentaire). However, if the information is in calligraphy then you'll be wearing something more formal.
The Addressee: If your invitation is address as "Mr. John Doe & Guest" then you are obviously welcome to bring a wedding date. However, if the "& Guest" are not included, it is appropriate to ask the bride or groom if you can bring someone. For financial reasons they may be trying to keep the wedding numbers small. They also may not be aware if you're relationship status has changed from "single" to "in a relationship", especially if that occurred after the invitation was mailed.
The RSVP Card: There are many different things to consider when mailing the RSVP card back to the bride. Be sure to have all intention of clearing your schedule and being in attendance when you reply. Weddings don't have a "maybe" section, and since the families of the couple are footing the bill for the event, you need to keep your commitment (refer to my blog post The Art of Repondez S'il Vous Plait). If something comes up within a week of the wedding date, and you've already sent in your RSVP card, be sure to notify the bride or groom of your change in plans. Most catering companies get the final head count 5-10 days before the event.
The Dinner Choice: Some RSVP cards will come with a protein choice. Be sure to pick something you won't mind eating. And when you arrive for the wedding dinner, don't change your mind last minute.
Black or White Tie: On rare occasions, an invitation will specify "Black Tie" or "White Tie". This means that, for men, you'll be responsible for wearing a tuxedo. Here is an excerpt from my blog "The Art of Code Vestimentaire":
Black Tie (Semi-Formal)- For men: Black tuxedo, white shirt, black necktie or black bowtie, cummerbund or vest.**One last tip: If the wedding is taking place outside it is okay to wear business casual attire.**
For women: dinner (ankle), tea (mid-calf) or cocktail (knee) length dress that is sleeveless, stole or shawl, dresses can be any color White Tie (Formal)- For men: Black coat with tails, white bowtie, white gloves
For women: long evening gown in a darker color, shoulders covered, long gloves that are not removed until dinner.
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