Dear Sparkly,
I have a group of friends who go dancing at the country dance club all the time. But recently, the guys I go with aren't even acknowledging that I exist, let alone asking me to dance. It's really frustrating because I don't ask guys to dance and I go to dance with my friends. How do I tell my guy friends, nicely, that I'm tired of them treating me this way?
-Empty Dance Card
Dear E.D.C.
I understand your frustration, and there really isn't a perfect way to tell your friends that you're upset (especially without them thinking you're overly sensitive and making a mountain out of a mole hill). Here's some suggestions...
1) Speak Up. Nicely, and at an appropriate time. I.E., don't confront your guy friends in the middle of a group. Wait until you have a minute alone with him and explain that you go dancing to hang with your group and that you would like for him to dance with you.
2) Bring Other Men. Yup, make a facebook invite and invite plenty of guys versus girls. Yeah, I said that. If you want to increase the men in attendance, then invite them.
3) Shrug It Off. If you went out once or twice and this happened, it could be just coincidence, so don't make a big deal. If it happens frequently, then refer to option 4...
4) Stop Going. As humans, we get tired of what is familiar. This is even more true for men. They enjoy the chase, being caught up in the mystery of a woman, etc. So if you only go dancing once in a while, they may be begging for your attendance the next time they go.
I've certainly been in your shoes, so I know how you feel. Hope it goes well the next time you're out!
-Sparkly
I have a group of friends who go dancing at the country dance club all the time. But recently, the guys I go with aren't even acknowledging that I exist, let alone asking me to dance. It's really frustrating because I don't ask guys to dance and I go to dance with my friends. How do I tell my guy friends, nicely, that I'm tired of them treating me this way?
-Empty Dance Card
Dear E.D.C.
I understand your frustration, and there really isn't a perfect way to tell your friends that you're upset (especially without them thinking you're overly sensitive and making a mountain out of a mole hill). Here's some suggestions...
1) Speak Up. Nicely, and at an appropriate time. I.E., don't confront your guy friends in the middle of a group. Wait until you have a minute alone with him and explain that you go dancing to hang with your group and that you would like for him to dance with you.
2) Bring Other Men. Yup, make a facebook invite and invite plenty of guys versus girls. Yeah, I said that. If you want to increase the men in attendance, then invite them.
3) Shrug It Off. If you went out once or twice and this happened, it could be just coincidence, so don't make a big deal. If it happens frequently, then refer to option 4...
4) Stop Going. As humans, we get tired of what is familiar. This is even more true for men. They enjoy the chase, being caught up in the mystery of a woman, etc. So if you only go dancing once in a while, they may be begging for your attendance the next time they go.
I've certainly been in your shoes, so I know how you feel. Hope it goes well the next time you're out!
-Sparkly
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