The following is the true story of Becca and Brant Mullen....
Brant and I met on New Years of 2013 at a masquerade party. I did not want to be there and went hesitantly with a friend of mine. After being there awhile, I then decided that I wanted to enter the new year with a good attitude and not a bad one. So before the new years, Brant came up to me on the dance floor with an outstretched hand and said nothing. He still had his mask on, but I didn't because I was hot and I didn't want my makeup smearing. I thought it was cute so I took his hand and we danced to "Shake it for Me" by Luke Bryan, which is our song to this day.
Brant and I met on New Years of 2013 at a masquerade party. I did not want to be there and went hesitantly with a friend of mine. After being there awhile, I then decided that I wanted to enter the new year with a good attitude and not a bad one. So before the new years, Brant came up to me on the dance floor with an outstretched hand and said nothing. He still had his mask on, but I didn't because I was hot and I didn't want my makeup smearing. I thought it was cute so I took his hand and we danced to "Shake it for Me" by Luke Bryan, which is our song to this day.
Afterwards, we headed out to get a drink at the refreshment table and it
was when he slid his mask up on top of his head and handed me a drink that I saw
his face... I could've passed out from shock. Shock of not knowing that the
most handsome guy in the room is talking to me and dancing with me and I'm
wondering why it is me that he is wanting to talk to when there were so many
prettier women there.
God had given me a couple dreams years ago and I had put them on the back
burner of my mind never to pick them up again. Well, that very night, 3 of
those dreams not only resurfaced, but also came true. It was because of those
dreams and knowing that they were from God that I knew that very night Brant
was the one God had promised me to be my husband. I still can't help but laugh
at the time God brought him into my life because at that point in time, I had
made the decision in my heart months after a bad relationship that I was
done... done with men, done with looking and done with waiting. I then started
making plans for myself. I was looking to go to beauty school to get a
certificate as an esthetician and then move and work in a salon with my sister.
Well, God saw me not expecting and asking for my future husband anymore and
pretty much said, "Okay, now I will bring him since you are not anxious
for him to come anymore and I don't want you going your own way; for I have better plans for you."
The first time we went to church together, he asked me if I wanted to go
down with him and get prayed over. I was so taken back by his asking that, that
I couldn't speak up right away. I think, you would have to verify with Brant,
that at first I just smiled and after a good few seconds I then told him that I
would go down with him. I still remember what the couple prayed over us. "Rebecca, everything is going to be gravy from here on out. It's all
good!" "Brant, family curses stop at you and are broken and will not
be in your relationship nor family. God said it is not good for a man to be
alone... whomever you choose, God will bless." I could not help but smile when I heard that because sure enough,
everything was gravy! We both had agreed to not kiss until we were either ready
or until our wedding day. It didn't last to the wedding day, but God helped us
through in waiting for the benefits of married life to happen when they should.
With that being said, do not have a long engagement if you can help it. Our
relationship was very much on cloud 9 the entire time... at least up until the
day after we got engaged.
Whoever lead girls to believe that wedding planning is fun and easy was
TOTALLY wrong! We both thought hell broke loose the day after he proposed. We
had to go back so many times to watch the video of the proposal to remember why
we chose to go through what we were going through. It sounds sad, but
engagement is not for the faint of heart. I have come to the conclusion that if
a couple can last to the wedding day, they are meant to be. Engagement does not
bring out the best in everyone. A lot of people get disappointed and hurt and
its exhausting. So I encourage any couple to pray fervently from the beginning
and know 100% with God's confirmation that they are the one whom God chose. Your
relationship will be tested on all fronts, from every person you can think of
and especially from the ones you least expect it from, and it will be put
through many fires before the best day of your life (wedding day).
Through our relationship, Brant and I have both learned to communicate
better and grow closer to each other. It is wonderful and work at the same
time. We are still learning how to emotionally connect with each other and
putting forth even harder our walk with God. When we begin to slip away from
God, we begin to hurt each other rather than help and love each other. Not
every hard time is always of Satan... God allows hard times to come to bring to
the surface things He wants to not just work on, but remove from us. It is also
to bring us closer to Him together. When we are willing and submissive to God,
we are willing and submissive to each other.
When you walk with God and ALWAYS put and keep Him first, He will help you
through anything... even the season of waiting. During the time I was waiting
for God to bring my husband and I was asking Him to bring him to me, God was
preparing me for him and our marriage. Looking back, I see God started
preparing me at a young age. I started cleaning houses with my mom when I was
in Jr. High and babysitting to pay off my dental bill. I would say that the
first year I moved out from living with my parents that God definitely prepared
me and helped me be ready for when He did bring my husband. It could have gone
a lot better if I had listened to God and heeded His warnings through my
family, but at the same time, cutting strings and growing up and maturing were
happening and in an abrupt way. Because of that year, I am who I am today and
would not be where I'm at because of it.
I had moved in with my brother at my grandpa's house. I took care of the house and laundry and cooking... as well as picking up after the grown men living there too. Oh did I complain to God almost every day about being there and feeling like I was doing everything myself. I helped take care of my brother when he got sick, but when I got sick, I was having to take care of myself. Not that my brother didn't try to help take care of me, his work and life schedule were much different than mine. During that year, I strongly believe God prepared me for many parts of my future marriage. I learned I had to do things on my own and that no one was going to go with me and hold my hand. It had to be God and I and God would help me through. I didn't think being married would be like that, but it is very much so the same. My husband and I cannot be with each other 24/7 like we would like. Jobs take up most of our time as well as an apartment, cats, family and friends all call to need or want us. We rarely have that much quality time like I would love. So in my working a part time job and having more 'free time', I tend to the apartment in cleaning it, keeping it picked up and organized and then running errands. So God has and is always preparing me for marriage even though I am married.
I am way more emotional than my husband. As most women would agree, we need
to emotionally connect with someone daily on a deeper level. Of course during
dating, my now husband and I were much more emotional with each other because
we were in the beginning stages of getting to know each other and falling in
love. Not that we aren't in love now, we just aren't on the high of cloud 9
anymore... reality has hit and has begun to sink in. As it sinks in, we both
are figuring out a routine/schedule that works for us to be able to get done
what we need to get done and also spend time together that we need to connect to
each other.
Being in a relationship has definitely impacted my walk with God. It
challenged me spiritually and forced me on many occasions to be in my prayer
closet a lot more. Praying over the relationship, praying over Brant and
praying FOR him every day. There is a difference in praying over someone and
praying for someone. Praying over them is dealing with the exterior and praying
for them deals with the interior. (Ex: The roof is not going to change the
decorations on the walls inside of the house. It may protect them, but it won't
change them.)
If I could say this, I would say a relationship is very healthy for more
than 1 reason. You not only learn and grow personally, you learn and grow
spiritually. It takes on a whole new meaning of "Dying to self"
because self is selfish and a relationship has no room for selfishness. If all
we do is take, take, take, how is the other one going to be given anything to
grow in? It's a 100% give and receive from both people in the relationship.
Love is putting someone and their needs above your own... and many times we are
often too focused on our own, especially when we are single. Granted, it's not
bad being single because then you can get deeper work done in your heart from
God and not have other things take your focus and attention. At the same time,
being in a relationship is not bad either because it causes or forces you to
learn how to balance your time, attention and focus and who else better to help
you do that then God? It's a win-win situation with God because He is always at
the center and focus being our foundation and our ever present help in need!
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