In my previous post about online dating (read it here) I talked about why picking the right dating site is important. Building your profile on the site is also very important! What you post online about yourself will say a lot about you, what you're looking for, and your expectations. Even if you don't write all of those things specifically.
What are you looking for? Without a doubt, all of the dating sites will ask you this as one of the first five questions on your profile. Try to not be too vague or too specific. Saying something like "A man who accepts me for who I am" sounds almost self centered and may indicate that you're not interested in personal growth. Instead try "A man who understands me and will help bring out the best in me." That indicates that while you do want a man's acceptance you also know that you're not perfect and are willing to learn from your mistakes. Before letting your profile go live, have a friend read over it and help you critique.
What are your interests and hobbies? Personally, listing any more that 5 items in these kinds of categories may overwhelm someone and make them think that 1)You're trying too hard to be impressive and/or 2)You're single because you actually don't have the time to date. Pick 5 things that you enjoy doing, and preferably things that you do regularly. Why only 5 regular hobbies? I'll explain in a bit.
Putting up some photos? Of course you want to make yourself look appealing, so find some flattering pictures of yourself- maybe even doing some of those 5 things that interest you! Here are a few photos that I actually have up on my dating profile. Because I mention on my profile that I really like hockey, the photos depict that interest.
What are you looking for? Without a doubt, all of the dating sites will ask you this as one of the first five questions on your profile. Try to not be too vague or too specific. Saying something like "A man who accepts me for who I am" sounds almost self centered and may indicate that you're not interested in personal growth. Instead try "A man who understands me and will help bring out the best in me." That indicates that while you do want a man's acceptance you also know that you're not perfect and are willing to learn from your mistakes. Before letting your profile go live, have a friend read over it and help you critique.
What are your interests and hobbies? Personally, listing any more that 5 items in these kinds of categories may overwhelm someone and make them think that 1)You're trying too hard to be impressive and/or 2)You're single because you actually don't have the time to date. Pick 5 things that you enjoy doing, and preferably things that you do regularly. Why only 5 regular hobbies? I'll explain in a bit.
Putting up some photos? Of course you want to make yourself look appealing, so find some flattering pictures of yourself- maybe even doing some of those 5 things that interest you! Here are a few photos that I actually have up on my dating profile. Because I mention on my profile that I really like hockey, the photos depict that interest.
What should you say about yourself? In a world of online marketing and sales, we know that putting your best foot forward is important. The same goes for online dating. Don't talk about how you "need to take things slowly because you have trust issues because your ex cheated on you". Say something like "I like to take things slow and allow people to show me who they are." Doesn't that sound like you are genuinely interested in getting to know someone instead of being immediately on the defense and don't trust others?
Be sure to not oversell yourself. If you like giving massages- hey, that's great! But putting something like "I give amazing massages!" on your profile can give someone the wrong impression. Again, be honest, and actually, you don't even need to talk about your massage skills. Let that be something that you can show someone after you've begun dating.
What are some other tips? Be honest, not transparent. Transparency is great for friends and community groups in churches, not in online dating. You ABSOLUTELY should not air out everything about yourself on a dating site. Why not? Because you'll take away the mystery, and men love mystery. Yes, they think we are confusing and complicated, yet they are still fascinated by us! So leave some things to the imagination and allow them to have questions to ask you when you begin communicating and dating.
*Need help building your online profile? Send me an email at sparklyinthecity@gmail.com*
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